Monday, November 23, 2009

Whats up with marriages and invitations?

My friend called me one month after my wedding. "Hello! Vishal, tell me one thing. Are you married?", "Yes of-course", I replied, realizing that I had forgotten to invite him. "Many Congrats!" Bang, the phone was down. I tried to reach him. My calls were all rejected. Dropped him an sms. "Apologies, I somehow forgot, please come and meet me over a coffee!" Pat came the answer "Go to hell" Annoyed , I sms'ed him back. "Would you have made it from the US? Expect a honest answer!"  Back came the reply. "No! I expected a invitation anyways". I had no answer to all this. I decided to give up realizing, this was just a tip of the iceberg.

Another call came some day later. A distant friend to be honest. "You mailed me but you never called me. How do you expect me to come?" I was like, but I wrote in the invitation "Please consider this as my personal invitation". He asked, "do you really mean it?" I said, "Of-course". The conversation ended there. I did not dare to sms him, I was experienced now! A relative called this time. I was in a meeting at office. Nevertheless, I took the call. With lots of confidence I asked, "You did not make my wedding". I was expecting a optimist response like, "Arey Chotu ki exam thi", "Achanak tumharey uncle ki tabiyat kharab ho gayi". The reply was interesting."You did not invite properly". I was shell shocked. What is proper invitation? Alien concept!  "I had sent a hard copy of my invitation and called you too". "Yes, you did all that beta, but you did not write a letter in the invitation. We are elders and expect personal invitations" I had not answers to this. I excused myself, saying my meeting was is progress. "Will call you after the meet". No prizes for guessing. I never called.

And then there was another friend with whom I had a chat session. In-fact, I was getting all sarcastic replies to my questions. It did not take me long to realize I did not invite him. It was a recession year and I had decided to call a selective few. I did not call outstation people for a simple reason. The hotels were unavailable and the ones which were available were only 5-stars. Gosh I wasn't spending my honeymoon in those, so the question of accommodating them was certainly out of question. I told him matter of fact. "Yaar, recession chal raha hai, so I made this event a low key affair. But of-course you are welcome anytime, if you like to wish us and spend time".To utter disbelief, he made a mockery of it and did not limit it to the confines of the chat-room.

And then there is other category too. One who are invited with all personal invitations, phone calls, invitation cards (both hard and soft copy) all arrangement made, but don't turn up. There is a friend of mine who did not turn up too. It seems he was happy about it though. Days later, he sent a mail across (many people included), "why there were none from our group for your wedding". The intention of the mail was unclear. May be he was trying to embarrass me. Guess what, I was least bothered.

That's about me. I have heard equally amazing stories too. A very good friend of mine, had printed millions of invitations cards (supposed to be distributed to the entire village). However on the day of marriage only a countable few turned up. After a desperate find, realized that the card had a misprinted date.Gosh what a error. Another chum of mine had distributed equal number of cards (if not more). Same apathy.Not many turned up. In rural areas, there is a tradition to include the name of close ones (specially relatives) in the invitation cards. Somehow there was a printing mistake in the card too. The crime was, he had misprinted his close relative name by mistakenly addressing him "Late" (meaning expired). Half the people were upset with it and the other half had gone to share the sorrow of the deads family.

Worse was a scene where the bridegroom decided not to turn up for his own marriage. Reason- His education qualification were not scribbled on the bride's invitation card. He decided to throw a tantrum at the last minute.Fun, isn't it? Not really. An evening to remember suddenly becomes a evening to forget for the hosts. Remember we can get caught in that trap too. These days, I make it a point to attend weddings just to wish people. Sometimes invited, other times ...........


  1. this one was a real fun/nice read :) first-hand experience speaking! honestly, your marriage is your personal affair - which takes a lot of time, effort, and money. it is humanly impossible to keep everyone happy. people who matter, don't care about these things - they understand. people who seem to care so much and don't understand, should really don't matter :)

  2. oh the wedding invitation tales...more or less it's same everywhere...and there are few besharams like me n my friends - we go for a friends wedding uninvited too :D

    good analysis...n poor u...but good, you don't care anymore :)


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